Happiness: A Do-It-Yourself Job

The pursuit of happiness is more than just a simple phrase or movie, it is the essential emotion to getting what you want as well as improved health and a sense of well being. Unfortunately most people seek it from others which lead to a sense of defeat, depression and even despair.  The truth is we are looking for the right answer but in the wrong place.

     Dr. Carl Simonton, an oncologist, wrote the book, Getting Well Again. He was the first to apply creative visualization and guided mental imagery to cancer treatment with much success.

In his research on some of the personality traits and stressors that might be exacerbating the cancer, he discovered that the more people were dependent on others for their needs being met, the less likely they were to recover or benefit from the cancer treatment.

     Do not expect more than 25% of your needs being met by a partner or significant other. Romance novels and even Disney convey the myth as portrayed by Snow White being without life, and certainly not “having a life,” until she received the magical kiss that brought her boundless bliss. The truth is dependency not only destroys healthy relationships, it eventually leads to some level of despair and depression. It creates a state of powerlessness and helplessness which are primary contributing emotions to stress and thus the reduction of our immune system so that not only cancer but the common cold find fertile territory to grow and snatch both our health and our happiness.

Edie Raether is a Change Strategist who is also known as the Bully Buster. She is an international speaker, life coach and the author of seven books such as Winning and Stop Bullying Now. A behavioral psychology expert and fmaily therapist, Edie has also been a college professor and talk show host with ABC. Visit www.raether.com and www.stopbullyingwithedie.com. Contact her at edie@raether.com or (704) 658-8997.